You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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