Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there's paper in my vomit.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Even the bartender felt bad for me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
