Define "chronic" masturbator.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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