He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
