That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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