just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
