if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
no you cant smoke seaweed
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
