I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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