just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize