Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
