I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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