she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
