I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize