If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
