You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
