He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
