I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
