the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
then he tried to convert me to islam
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
