I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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