im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
