Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
