She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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