I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
