Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
