Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
