I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Two words: blizzard sex
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
