You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
