does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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