First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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