his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
