dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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