Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
