someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
