VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
