If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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