jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize