I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I came so hard my ears popped.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
