"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
