I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
