I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
