They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
