How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize