So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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