I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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