I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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