Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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