I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
