I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
