I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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