I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
