Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
