She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
