You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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