We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize