i just had sex bonerless
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
