I think my vagina is haunted
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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