it was like his penis was on wheels.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
