every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
