so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That accounts for only three of the penises
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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