So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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