he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
