if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
