yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
