I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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