Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
